NOT quite sure what qualifies as middle-aged these days but I’d like to put myself forward for MI5.

Spy chiefs have been told by MPs to recruit middle-aged mothers because they are “emotionally intelligent” and skilled at relationships. Yep, got all that - probably.

At my age and gender, I am also socially invisible anyway, can talk to anyone at a bus-stop and will keep an important secret, provided I’m allowed to tell just one person.

My only flaw is that I’d probably crack under intense questioning, especially if it involved cake. Other than that, my CV is in the post.