IF there’s one subject that recurs over the years it’s the thorny matter of what is and isn’t acceptable on graves in local churchyards.

The latest row at the Parish of St Michael with St Bartholomew in Great Lever involves a list of banned items on graves including Armed Forces crests, stones in the shape of hearts and anything made of synthetic material.

This has upset some people.

While it’s easy to understand church authorities not wanting graves looking too extreme, there has to be acknowledgement that grieving is a highly personal thing and a grave seen very much as personal property.

It’s natural to try to keep memories of individuals alive.

So we don’t really want bleak, uniform graves, just like we don’t want tacky or offensive graves, either.

Both sides will have to give a little — that’s really not a lot to ask in this sensitive row.