IF ever there was an argument against
bringing back hanging, Guilty
Pleasures would be it.
If hanging was used to punish those
found guilty of musical
crimes, some perfectly decent artists
would have gone to the gallows, with
the grinning likes of The Feeling and
Ozzy Osbourne's daughter, Kelly, the
evil judges. The premise of this
horrendous programme is that
modern-day musicians perform a song
from the past in a nudge-nudge winkwink
manner. You know, I really
shouldn't be admitting to liking this,
but I do. "Chocolate?" "No,
Maltesers." Ooh, that guilty, eh?
The problem here is that the acts
performing are generally more naff
than the original artists.
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So, we get well-groomed and overly
smug toffs The Feeling trudging
through Buggles' Video Killed The
Radio Star, KT Tunstall doing John
Farnham's The Voice and contributions
from nepotist Osbourne and the
execrable Craig David.
"It's my favourite getting ready song,"
says Osbourne before launching into
the dullest version of Bonnie Tyler's
Total Eclipse Of The Heart you've ever
heard. A Teletubbies' version would
have totally eclipsed this out-of-tune
bilge. Sorry for the comparison, bilge.
A genuine guilty pleasure would have
been Muse or the Manic Street
Preachers performing Mr Blobby.
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