Eight weeks ago Julie Hilling lost her job as Member of Parliament for Bolton West, after a narrow defeat to Conservative Chris Green. With her replacement settling in to life in Westminster— Ms Hilling tells political reporter Liam Thorp about the feeling of devastation that has stayed with her since the result came in and the mistakes she thinks her party made in the run up to a crushing election defeat.

JULIE Hilling has returned to parliament — not because she is preparing to challenge the Prime Minister about government policy or because she wants to voice the concerns of her constituents, but because she needs to pack up her things.

It seems a particularly tough for a woman who took such pride in her job as a Member of Parliament over the past five years that on her return she is handed a pass that clearly reads “ex-MP” and restricts her access to certain areas of a Whitehall.

The Oxford-born former youth worker has struggled to put the dramatic scenes of May’s election defeat out of her mind and fully admits she was not prepared for life after Bolton West.

“It has been terrible. I know some people don’t care what happens to you when you lose your seat and maybe think you should know what the risks are, but I honestly never thought I was going to lose.”

“Being the MP for Bolton West was simply my dream job — it was the best job in the world and there was never a plan b.”

Ms Hilling is not a fantasist, she was acutely aware that her contest with Chris Green would always be a tight one, after all she only managed to sneak into the Bolton West seat in 2010 by a narrow majority of 92 votes, but she was convinced that the work she did representing the constituency would see her through.

“The job was everything I ever wanted to do, I was able to help people in all the ways I possibly could and earn a living while doing it.

“Because of that I worked incredibly hard, I spoke in the House of Commons about two times a week on average and then worked 12 hours a day in the constituency on Fridays and Saturdays — I just wanted to spend every second I had being the best MP I could be.”

Two months on from the fateful moment at Bolton Arena, when the returning officer quietly informed her that she had missed out on re-election by more than 800 votes, it is safe to say she hasn’t fully come to terms with the result.

“Other MPs said it is like a bereavement and I get that — it makes me feel bad for times when friends have lost jobs and I have asked how they are doing financially but not emotionally, it has a huge impact.

“What makes it worse is that I can’t go away and start looking for other jobs as an MP.”

While it is impossible not to feel a sense of personal rejection after a de-throning such as this, Ms Hilling, like most people, understands it was the entire Labour party message, or lack thereof, that was ceremoniously dismissed by voters on May 7th.

She says: “I think very few people voted for Julie Hilling or Chris Green, they voted for the parties and our party got its tactics wrong.

“In 1997 we were telling people things can only get better — but this time we were saying yes we will have austerity, it just won’t be as bad as their austerity

“We never properly tackled the idea that ‘we crashed the economy’ properly, it was always a big factor on the doorstep.

She adds: “I maintain it was a manifesto I was proud of but we just didn’t get our messages across well, there was no core theme for people to grab hold of.”

She is happy to point out that there was a lack of support for her personally in the lead up to the vote —during a time when Prime Minister David Cameron visited Bolton twice.

“We were outspent and out-campaigned by the Tories in Bolton West, we couldn’t compete.

“The party kept telling me ‘you will be fine Julie’ but I did want more help than I got — yes I had the shadow chancellor visit and the shadow home secretary, but I didn’t have the man who wanted to be Prime Minister here to support me — I did hope Ed Miliband would come.”

Among the drama and glory of an election night, it is perhaps often forgotten that people are forced out of their jobs and Ms Hilling says letting go of her six members of staff was one of the hardest parts of the process.

“It was terribly hard to tell those six hard-working, fabulous people that this is it.”

The overwhelming sadness the former MP still feels is interspersed with pride and joy at the memories and achievements of a very busy five years in the post.

Lying at the top of that pile of memories are campaigns to teach school pupils life-saving skills and to get the laws about dangerous dogs changed, in the wake of the tragic death of teenager Jade Lomas Anderson, a resident of Ms Hilling’s adopted hometown of Atherton.

She reflects: “It has been a real honour and a privilege to have been the Member of Parliament for Bolton West for the last 5 years — It is a wonderful constituency and I am grateful to everyone who voted for me.”

So what about the future? Perhaps some consultancy work? She has a strong background in youth work and helping people with their personal development — but it may take some time to figure it all out.

One thing for certain is that this passionate, hard-working politician has not given up on a return to her dream job.

“I have already said I am only lending the seat to Chris Green — there is no guarantee I will be selected again but I definitely want to come back.”