New life after violent end to her marriage
6:00am Thursday 26th December 2013 in News
AFTER being happily married for many years, Jenny never thought that her relationship would come to a violent end.
The 44-year-old, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, has spoken out about her experience of domestic abuse in a bid to help other sufferers to get help.
She was married for 16 years but, during the final two years of her marriage, things took a turn for the worse.
Her husband developed a steroid habit and, with that, came paranoia.
He wanted to control her and would put her down to try to erode her confidence. He even tried to separate her from family and friends.
The mental torment turned to aggression, which lead to violent episodes.
She recalls an incident where he pushed her over something insignificant.
She was worried about his behaviour, but tried to work through it for the sake of the children.
Then, in May, 2010, came a turning point.
Her husband came home one day and accused her of having an affair with a builder.
It soon got out of control and he became violent, at which point Jenny called the police — and he assaulted her in front of their children.
She said: “He tried to strangle me, and caused bruising to my legs. We tried to work through it for the sake of the children.”
But things became too difficult and she took the brave decision to separate from him the following month and seek help.
Jenny said: “It was very much a control or power thing and I found that quite difficult because of the kind of person I am.
“Despite the things he put me through, I still had that inner energy to keep level headed and stay on top.”
The police referred her to Victim Support, and that helped her to move on.
She said: “I thought, I am not sure if it is for me because I am an independent person. But I had my first session with Fatima and she was absolutely lovely.”
Jenny had never needed the help of Victim Support before and knew little about the charity.
She added: “We talked about the incident and what led up to it.
“I was very sceptical, but I decided I would go back for more sessions.
“I went for about six weeks and, as it progressed, I got more out of it. I felt I was being listened to by someone impartial and who had the time to listen to me.
“Little things were highlighted for me and I kept getting stronger.”
At the end of the sessions, challenges would be set to help her continue, such as not reading any texts or emails her estranged husband sent to her because they were abusive.
Jenny said: “Fatima gave me the confidence — that umph — to realise that I could get through this.”
But despite not wanting to have anything further to do with her husband, he did not stop.
One day he turned up at the house and trapped her arm in a door. She said: “My children were there, unfortunately. I had to tell them that the police needed to come to speak to dad because his behaviour was not right.”
Jenny had to go to court to give evidence, as did her daughter, which was really difficult for both of them.
She added: “He does not have the power or control and he has struggled with that, seeing me get stronger.
“I am lucky that the support I got allowed me to be me. I always had that fight in me but it helped to bring it out.”
l Victim Support is a charity for victims and witnesses of crime. It was set up almost 40 years ago and is the oldest and largest victims’ organis-ation in the world.
The charity uses trained volunteers to delivers its services, works with the police and other sectors of the criminal justice system and runs the Witness Service in courts.
Victim Support’s Bolton office is in Keith Salt House, Chorley Old Road. To contact them, call 01204 399736.
Comments are closed on this article.