New life after violent end to her marriage

The Bolton News: Jenny’s confidence was eroded because of her husband’s behaviour — and charity Victim Support helped her to find it again Jenny’s confidence was eroded because of her husband’s behaviour — and charity Victim Support helped her to find it again

AFTER being happily married for many years, Jenny never thought that her relationship would come to a violent end.

The 44-year-old, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, has spoken out about her experience of domestic abuse in a bid to help other sufferers to get help.

She was married for 16 years but, during the final two years of her marriage, things took a turn for the worse.

Her husband developed a steroid habit and, with that, came paranoia.

He wanted to control her and would put her down to try to erode her confidence. He even tried to separate her from family and friends.

The mental torment turned to aggression, which lead to violent episodes.

She recalls an incident where he pushed her over something insignificant.

She was worried about his behaviour, but tried to work through it for the sake of the children.

Then, in May, 2010, came a turning point.

Her husband came home one day and accused her of having an affair with a builder.

It soon got out of control and he became violent, at which point Jenny called the police — and he assaulted her in front of their children.

She said: “He tried to strangle me, and caused bruising to my legs. We tried to work through it for the sake of the children.”

But things became too difficult and she took the brave decision to separate from him the following month and seek help.

Jenny said: “It was very much a control or power thing and I found that quite difficult because of the kind of person I am.

“Despite the things he put me through, I still had that inner energy to keep level headed and stay on top.”

The police referred her to Victim Support, and that helped her to move on.

She said: “I thought, I am not sure if it is for me because I am an independent person. But I had my first session with Fatima and she was absolutely lovely.”

Jenny had never needed the help of Victim Support before and knew little about the charity.

She added: “We talked about the incident and what led up to it.

“I was very sceptical, but I decided I would go back for more sessions.

“I went for about six weeks and, as it progressed, I got more out of it. I felt I was being listened to by someone impartial and who had the time to listen to me.

“Little things were highlighted for me and I kept getting stronger.”

At the end of the sessions, challenges would be set to help her continue, such as not reading any texts or emails her estranged husband sent to her because they were abusive.

Jenny said: “Fatima gave me the confidence — that umph — to realise that I could get through this.”

But despite not wanting to have anything further to do with her husband, he did not stop.

One day he turned up at the house and trapped her arm in a door. She said: “My children were there, unfortunately. I had to tell them that the police needed to come to speak to dad because his behaviour was not right.”

Jenny had to go to court to give evidence, as did her daughter, which was really difficult for both of them.

She added: “He does not have the power or control and he has struggled with that, seeing me get stronger.

“I am lucky that the support I got allowed me to be me. I always had that fight in me but it helped to bring it out.”

l Victim Support is a charity for victims and witnesses of crime. It was set up almost 40 years ago and is the oldest and largest victims’ organis-ation in the world.

The charity uses trained volunteers to delivers its services, works with the police and other sectors of the criminal justice system and runs the Witness Service in courts.

Victim Support’s Bolton office is in Keith Salt House, Chorley Old Road. To contact them, call 01204 399736.

Comments (23)

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5:12pm Thu 26 Dec 13

Comment777 says...

A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned...
A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned... Comment777

11:21pm Thu 26 Dec 13

Hough64 says...

Comment777 wrote:
A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned...
Your comment is obviously from a man that condones domestic violence. I bet you thrive on giving your wife a quick slap now and then!! Nothing should cause an outburst that results in a man hitting his wife in front of their children.
[quote][p][bold]Comment777[/bold] wrote: A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned...[/p][/quote]Your comment is obviously from a man that condones domestic violence. I bet you thrive on giving your wife a quick slap now and then!! Nothing should cause an outburst that results in a man hitting his wife in front of their children. Hough64

12:27am Fri 27 Dec 13

Comment777 says...

Hough64 wrote:
Comment777 wrote:
A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned...
Your comment is obviously from a man that condones domestic violence. I bet you thrive on giving your wife a quick slap now and then!! Nothing should cause an outburst that results in a man hitting his wife in front of their children.
Then let me give you an example: she threatens to take the children away from their father every time he makes a bad choice or decision. She is unremitting in this, she says it time and again actually takes them to her mother's home sometimes. When she returns to the family home she criticises her husband, screams and shouts to make it seems to the neighbours like she is the one who is being controlled and oppressed.

Let all readers be in no doubt about my opinions regarding violence to another person, unless your children wife, mother, father or siblings etc are in imminent danger I do not condone violence in any form, to either sex.

The point I make is that both sides of this couples story must be heard/read before anyone is able to make an informed analysis of the circumstances surrounding this story that led to a reported loving relationship becoming violent
[quote][p][bold]Hough64[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Comment777[/bold] wrote: A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned...[/p][/quote]Your comment is obviously from a man that condones domestic violence. I bet you thrive on giving your wife a quick slap now and then!! Nothing should cause an outburst that results in a man hitting his wife in front of their children.[/p][/quote]Then let me give you an example: she threatens to take the children away from their father every time he makes a bad choice or decision. She is unremitting in this, she says it time and again actually takes them to her mother's home sometimes. When she returns to the family home she criticises her husband, screams and shouts to make it seems to the neighbours like she is the one who is being controlled and oppressed. Let all readers be in no doubt about my opinions regarding violence to another person, unless your children wife, mother, father or siblings etc are in imminent danger I do not condone violence in any form, to either sex. The point I make is that both sides of this couples story must be heard/read before anyone is able to make an informed analysis of the circumstances surrounding this story that led to a reported loving relationship becoming violent Comment777

9:38am Fri 27 Dec 13

Hough64 says...

I am assuming you are either the husband in this actual story or someone that lives in the same house as the couple and saw it all going on then??
I am assuming you are either the husband in this actual story or someone that lives in the same house as the couple and saw it all going on then?? Hough64

11:00am Fri 27 Dec 13

Comment777 says...

Hough64 wrote:
I am assuming you are either the husband in this actual story or someone that lives in the same house as the couple and saw it all going on then??
No connection whatsoever but at least you are understanding that it is important to hear the other side...
[quote][p][bold]Hough64[/bold] wrote: I am assuming you are either the husband in this actual story or someone that lives in the same house as the couple and saw it all going on then??[/p][/quote]No connection whatsoever but at least you are understanding that it is important to hear the other side... Comment777

11:16am Fri 27 Dec 13

Hough64 says...

Comment777 wrote:
Hough64 wrote:
I am assuming you are either the husband in this actual story or someone that lives in the same house as the couple and saw it all going on then??
No connection whatsoever but at least you are understanding that it is important to hear the other side...
Of course I am, but you quoted quite a few scenarios there. Scenarios that are totally unfounded seeing as you do not know the facts. And neither do I. However I doubt this lady would have taken her children away from this man without good reason. As stated in the story it all started when he began to take anabolic steroids. Its common knowledge that these drugs cause anger and mood swings. I would do exactly the same as her if I was in her position.
[quote][p][bold]Comment777[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Hough64[/bold] wrote: I am assuming you are either the husband in this actual story or someone that lives in the same house as the couple and saw it all going on then??[/p][/quote]No connection whatsoever but at least you are understanding that it is important to hear the other side...[/p][/quote]Of course I am, but you quoted quite a few scenarios there. Scenarios that are totally unfounded seeing as you do not know the facts. And neither do I. However I doubt this lady would have taken her children away from this man without good reason. As stated in the story it all started when he began to take anabolic steroids. Its common knowledge that these drugs cause anger and mood swings. I would do exactly the same as her if I was in her position. Hough64

1:20pm Fri 27 Dec 13

J1Bean says...

I have been in a violent relationship
I was the victim and only a coward hits a woman
No excuses, no matter what
I have been in a violent relationship I was the victim and only a coward hits a woman No excuses, no matter what J1Bean

3:55pm Fri 27 Dec 13

Lancashire always says...

Once it starts if you forgive it it gets worse never better your personality changes and your reasoning . You stop speaking in case it starts and escalates to violence it really does take a strong person to stay until the courage takes over and she / he leaves, Yes folks it happens to men too !
Once it starts if you forgive it it gets worse never better your personality changes and your reasoning . You stop speaking in case it starts and escalates to violence it really does take a strong person to stay until the courage takes over and she / he leaves, Yes folks it happens to men too ! Lancashire always

4:15pm Fri 27 Dec 13

J1Bean says...

Agree.

It also takes a lot of courage to leave the abuser.
Agree. It also takes a lot of courage to leave the abuser. J1Bean

7:31pm Fri 27 Dec 13

pecky2k says...

There are always two sides to every story, NOBODY condones violence yet sometimes it happens, it's a fact of life.
For those who think that any person who lashes out at their partner is the scum of the earth then you have been living in a bubble.
Life isn't simple, life isn't always black and white.
There are two sides to this story as it has been said by Comment777.
Has the "victim" been attacked in a fit of rage after the husband caught his wife at it with a builder....we don't know.
And before anyone starts with the smart comments about me condoning this sort of thing then don't, you don't know my past, you don't know me so don't judge!
There are always two sides to every story, NOBODY condones violence yet sometimes it happens, it's a fact of life. For those who think that any person who lashes out at their partner is the scum of the earth then you have been living in a bubble. Life isn't simple, life isn't always black and white. There are two sides to this story as it has been said by Comment777. Has the "victim" been attacked in a fit of rage after the husband caught his wife at it with a builder....we don't know. And before anyone starts with the smart comments about me condoning this sort of thing then don't, you don't know my past, you don't know me so don't judge! pecky2k

9:22pm Fri 27 Dec 13

J1Bean says...

Who's judging? You haven't said you are or was a victim, so how do you know what it's like to be in a violent relationship? Or perhaps you don't.
Who's judging? You haven't said you are or was a victim, so how do you know what it's like to be in a violent relationship? Or perhaps you don't. J1Bean

11:30pm Fri 27 Dec 13

pecky2k says...

Fishing for a story J1Bean??
Lets stick to the fact that this article is only one side of the story and that the alleged abuser has not put his side forward.
Even in court there is evidence heard from both viewpoints yet people have heard just one side of it in this instance.
From past experience for every tale there are 3 versions, her story, his story and the truth that generally lies somewhere in the middle!
Fishing for a story J1Bean?? Lets stick to the fact that this article is only one side of the story and that the alleged abuser has not put his side forward. Even in court there is evidence heard from both viewpoints yet people have heard just one side of it in this instance. From past experience for every tale there are 3 versions, her story, his story and the truth that generally lies somewhere in the middle! pecky2k

11:36pm Fri 27 Dec 13

Comment777 says...

J1Bean wrote:
I have been in a violent relationship
I was the victim and only a coward hits a woman
No excuses, no matter what
So after years of psychologically abusing your partner, threatening him with revenge for saying he will leave you to make a new life, telling him we will lose the children if he dares speak out against your physical attacks on him, which obviously he covers up because he is a proud man and following his fall into a depression which he can not understand you attack him once more but this time with a weapon he lashes out to protect himself and the children who you have not considered in any of the situations you have created to belittle your partner...NO MATTER WHAT????? You have no idea what women are capable of...and if she reports an incident to the police she is automatically assumed to be the victim, and in many cases the attending officer has taken advantage of the situation to date the 'victim'
[quote][p][bold]J1Bean[/bold] wrote: I have been in a violent relationship I was the victim and only a coward hits a woman No excuses, no matter what[/p][/quote]So after years of psychologically abusing your partner, threatening him with revenge for saying he will leave you to make a new life, telling him we will lose the children if he dares speak out against your physical attacks on him, which obviously he covers up because he is a proud man and following his fall into a depression which he can not understand you attack him once more but this time with a weapon he lashes out to protect himself and the children who you have not considered in any of the situations you have created to belittle your partner...NO MATTER WHAT????? You have no idea what women are capable of...and if she reports an incident to the police she is automatically assumed to be the victim, and in many cases the attending officer has taken advantage of the situation to date the 'victim' Comment777

11:39pm Fri 27 Dec 13

Comment777 says...

Hough64 wrote:
Comment777 wrote:
Hough64 wrote:
I am assuming you are either the husband in this actual story or someone that lives in the same house as the couple and saw it all going on then??
No connection whatsoever but at least you are understanding that it is important to hear the other side...
Of course I am, but you quoted quite a few scenarios there. Scenarios that are totally unfounded seeing as you do not know the facts. And neither do I. However I doubt this lady would have taken her children away from this man without good reason. As stated in the story it all started when he began to take anabolic steroids. Its common knowledge that these drugs cause anger and mood swings. I would do exactly the same as her if I was in her position.
'As an example' at the beginning of the comment really makes your view untenable
[quote][p][bold]Hough64[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Comment777[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Hough64[/bold] wrote: I am assuming you are either the husband in this actual story or someone that lives in the same house as the couple and saw it all going on then??[/p][/quote]No connection whatsoever but at least you are understanding that it is important to hear the other side...[/p][/quote]Of course I am, but you quoted quite a few scenarios there. Scenarios that are totally unfounded seeing as you do not know the facts. And neither do I. However I doubt this lady would have taken her children away from this man without good reason. As stated in the story it all started when he began to take anabolic steroids. Its common knowledge that these drugs cause anger and mood swings. I would do exactly the same as her if I was in her position.[/p][/quote]'As an example' at the beginning of the comment really makes your view untenable Comment777

11:42pm Fri 27 Dec 13

Comment777 says...

pecky2k wrote:
Fishing for a story J1Bean??
Lets stick to the fact that this article is only one side of the story and that the alleged abuser has not put his side forward.
Even in court there is evidence heard from both viewpoints yet people have heard just one side of it in this instance.
From past experience for every tale there are 3 versions, her story, his story and the truth that generally lies somewhere in the middle!
Your last sentence sums up this discussion succinctly...
[quote][p][bold]pecky2k[/bold] wrote: Fishing for a story J1Bean?? Lets stick to the fact that this article is only one side of the story and that the alleged abuser has not put his side forward. Even in court there is evidence heard from both viewpoints yet people have heard just one side of it in this instance. From past experience for every tale there are 3 versions, her story, his story and the truth that generally lies somewhere in the middle![/p][/quote]Your last sentence sums up this discussion succinctly... Comment777

11:52pm Fri 27 Dec 13

Comment777 says...

Hough64 wrote:
Comment777 wrote:
A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned...
Your comment is obviously from a man that condones domestic violence. I bet you thrive on giving your wife a quick slap now and then!! Nothing should cause an outburst that results in a man hitting his wife in front of their children.
The number of thumbs up your post has received supports my lack of faith in the jury system as an integral part of the British legal system. The man is condemned even before he presents his side of the story, guilt must be proven but yet as he stands in court before any evidence his heard but after the charges have been read out he is already guilty in the eyes of the jury because he is male...
[quote][p][bold]Hough64[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Comment777[/bold] wrote: A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned...[/p][/quote]Your comment is obviously from a man that condones domestic violence. I bet you thrive on giving your wife a quick slap now and then!! Nothing should cause an outburst that results in a man hitting his wife in front of their children.[/p][/quote]The number of thumbs up your post has received supports my lack of faith in the jury system as an integral part of the British legal system. The man is condemned even before he presents his side of the story, guilt must be proven but yet as he stands in court before any evidence his heard but after the charges have been read out he is already guilty in the eyes of the jury because he is male... Comment777

11:56pm Fri 27 Dec 13

Comment777 says...

Hough64 wrote:
Comment777 wrote:
Hough64 wrote:
I am assuming you are either the husband in this actual story or someone that lives in the same house as the couple and saw it all going on then??
No connection whatsoever but at least you are understanding that it is important to hear the other side...
Of course I am, but you quoted quite a few scenarios there. Scenarios that are totally unfounded seeing as you do not know the facts. And neither do I. However I doubt this lady would have taken her children away from this man without good reason. As stated in the story it all started when he began to take anabolic steroids. Its common knowledge that these drugs cause anger and mood swings. I would do exactly the same as her if I was in her position.
But why did he take the steroids, was it because she had thoughts and expressed those thoughts that he looked older, less toned, less virile...you just do not know...
[quote][p][bold]Hough64[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Comment777[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Hough64[/bold] wrote: I am assuming you are either the husband in this actual story or someone that lives in the same house as the couple and saw it all going on then??[/p][/quote]No connection whatsoever but at least you are understanding that it is important to hear the other side...[/p][/quote]Of course I am, but you quoted quite a few scenarios there. Scenarios that are totally unfounded seeing as you do not know the facts. And neither do I. However I doubt this lady would have taken her children away from this man without good reason. As stated in the story it all started when he began to take anabolic steroids. Its common knowledge that these drugs cause anger and mood swings. I would do exactly the same as her if I was in her position.[/p][/quote]But why did he take the steroids, was it because she had thoughts and expressed those thoughts that he looked older, less toned, less virile...you just do not know... Comment777

1:49am Sat 28 Dec 13

J1Bean says...

Comment777 wrote:
J1Bean wrote:
I have been in a violent relationship
I was the victim and only a coward hits a woman
No excuses, no matter what
So after years of psychologically abusing your partner, threatening him with revenge for saying he will leave you to make a new life, telling him we will lose the children if he dares speak out against your physical attacks on him, which obviously he covers up because he is a proud man and following his fall into a depression which he can not understand you attack him once more but this time with a weapon he lashes out to protect himself and the children who you have not considered in any of the situations you have created to belittle your partner...NO MATTER WHAT????? You have no idea what women are capable of...and if she reports an incident to the police she is automatically assumed to be the victim, and in many cases the attending officer has taken advantage of the situation to date the 'victim'
You are so far from the truth. You have no idea.
[quote][p][bold]Comment777[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]J1Bean[/bold] wrote: I have been in a violent relationship I was the victim and only a coward hits a woman No excuses, no matter what[/p][/quote]So after years of psychologically abusing your partner, threatening him with revenge for saying he will leave you to make a new life, telling him we will lose the children if he dares speak out against your physical attacks on him, which obviously he covers up because he is a proud man and following his fall into a depression which he can not understand you attack him once more but this time with a weapon he lashes out to protect himself and the children who you have not considered in any of the situations you have created to belittle your partner...NO MATTER WHAT????? You have no idea what women are capable of...and if she reports an incident to the police she is automatically assumed to be the victim, and in many cases the attending officer has taken advantage of the situation to date the 'victim'[/p][/quote]You are so far from the truth. You have no idea. J1Bean

2:38am Sat 28 Dec 13

pecky2k says...

Every persons story is different to another J1Bean!
Every persons story is different to another J1Bean! pecky2k

5:51pm Sat 28 Dec 13

myfanwy7 says...

"But why did he take the steroids, was it because she had thoughts and expressed those thoughts that he looked older, less toned, less virile...you just do not know..."

And it might be a good idea, saying as you don't know, to keep your counsel and avoid giving air to your prejudices
"But why did he take the steroids, was it because she had thoughts and expressed those thoughts that he looked older, less toned, less virile...you just do not know..." And it might be a good idea, saying as you don't know, to keep your counsel and avoid giving air to your prejudices myfanwy7

5:13pm Sun 29 Dec 13

Freddies Assistant says...

Comment777 wrote:
A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned...
There IS no excuse for domestic violence, from either party.
[quote][p][bold]Comment777[/bold] wrote: A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned...[/p][/quote]There IS no excuse for domestic violence, from either party. Freddies Assistant

4:10pm Mon 30 Dec 13

adatherton says...

Freddies Assistant wrote:
Comment777 wrote:
A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned...
There IS no excuse for domestic violence, from either party.
Quite right, if your wife is unreasonable and driving you mad, you walk out, you don't hit them.
[quote][p][bold]Freddies Assistant[/bold] wrote: [quote][p][bold]Comment777[/bold] wrote: A one sided story without a hint of what caused these alleged outbursts by her husband. Let us hear his side of the abuse and let readers make an informed decision as to how blame should be apportioned...[/p][/quote]There IS no excuse for domestic violence, from either party.[/p][/quote]Quite right, if your wife is unreasonable and driving you mad, you walk out, you don't hit them. adatherton

4:00am Wed 1 Jan 14

pecky2k says...

Unless you have experienced a situation similar to this then you cannot stand there and solely blame anyone.
Sometimes a partner instigates fury into their partner to the point that they snap.
Just imagine you hear a mobile phone vibrating away, one you have never seen before and you pick it up, there is a name on the screen with a kiss next to it, just at that moment your long term partner walks in with a brew fresh from the kettle only 10 seconds before, you point out that you have found a strange vibrating phone in their possessions with a contacts name on it with a kiss next to it. The partner then throws that freshly boiled scalding drink into your face. In response to their attack you try to defend yourself from further violence and strike that person.
Would you react differently?
If all that happened within 20 seconds and you lash out does that make you a domestic abuser?
I don't condone violence to a partner but it can happen in an instant.
Some people twist situations to their advantage and drive their partner mad, then they tell the world to justify their actions.
I know someone who was accused of abuse against their partner, their children and also accused of sexual abuse to their children in an attempt to cover up lies and give a legitimate cover story to allow a cheating partner to walk away to a new life. Luckily that person had some sense about them and got legal help and now is sole carer to the children and is slowly rebuilding their life and the accuser who doesn't even pay child support towards the children has not seen them in over 9 months.
I'm not saying that this happens in all cases but some females do report partners to the relevant authorities in an attempt to gain faster re-homing and a legal way to avoid having contact with an ex partner.
Domestic abuse be it physical, verbal, mental or sexual is wrong in all instances, society generally sees the male as the aggressor as many see the term "domestic abuse" meaning physical violence, but it can be either partner inflicting "abuse".
And to walk away from a long term relationship takes a lot of courage from either sex, the male will ultimately still have a duty to provide for his children before he even feeds himself, a female would need to become a single parent which in itself is difficult and also find work around school times. There are many reasons why partners endure long term abuse and that would be very stressful.
Maybe this is why there are so many relationships that end in serious assault or death.
I still stand by my initial stance that there is another side to this story and that somewhere in between there lies the truth.
Hopefully everyone involved in this article including the wife, husband and children have all received help and support and that maybe in time they can put their differences aside for the sake of all concerned.
Unless you have experienced a situation similar to this then you cannot stand there and solely blame anyone. Sometimes a partner instigates fury into their partner to the point that they snap. Just imagine you hear a mobile phone vibrating away, one you have never seen before and you pick it up, there is a name on the screen with a kiss next to it, just at that moment your long term partner walks in with a brew fresh from the kettle only 10 seconds before, you point out that you have found a strange vibrating phone in their possessions with a contacts name on it with a kiss next to it. The partner then throws that freshly boiled scalding drink into your face. In response to their attack you try to defend yourself from further violence and strike that person. Would you react differently? If all that happened within 20 seconds and you lash out does that make you a domestic abuser? I don't condone violence to a partner but it can happen in an instant. Some people twist situations to their advantage and drive their partner mad, then they tell the world to justify their actions. I know someone who was accused of abuse against their partner, their children and also accused of sexual abuse to their children in an attempt to cover up lies and give a legitimate cover story to allow a cheating partner to walk away to a new life. Luckily that person had some sense about them and got legal help and now is sole carer to the children and is slowly rebuilding their life and the accuser who doesn't even pay child support towards the children has not seen them in over 9 months. I'm not saying that this happens in all cases but some females do report partners to the relevant authorities in an attempt to gain faster re-homing and a legal way to avoid having contact with an ex partner. Domestic abuse be it physical, verbal, mental or sexual is wrong in all instances, society generally sees the male as the aggressor as many see the term "domestic abuse" meaning physical violence, but it can be either partner inflicting "abuse". And to walk away from a long term relationship takes a lot of courage from either sex, the male will ultimately still have a duty to provide for his children before he even feeds himself, a female would need to become a single parent which in itself is difficult and also find work around school times. There are many reasons why partners endure long term abuse and that would be very stressful. Maybe this is why there are so many relationships that end in serious assault or death. I still stand by my initial stance that there is another side to this story and that somewhere in between there lies the truth. Hopefully everyone involved in this article including the wife, husband and children have all received help and support and that maybe in time they can put their differences aside for the sake of all concerned. pecky2k

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