There's little doubt that the collective rugby world in Glasgow will be heaving a massive sigh of relief after the news that Cartha's Niall Loakman has finally decided to retire. But his parting shot is that players in Scotland retire too soon.

Niall, the Irishman with the white hair, and white teeth most often seen between smiling lips, has decided to call it a day after service above and beyond the call of duty for the Haggs Castle club - with his call of duty more often than not in the post match banter. They don't make too many like Loakman - the man from the Allied Irish - in the world anymore. He makes you laugh, and he buys his round. Extraordinary.

''I always said I would retire at 50, and so that's what I'm doing,'' Loakman told me. ''I've been here since 1982, and have loved almost all of it.''

Which is good news. Loakman played for Cork Constitution with Lions Noel Murphy, Tom Kiernan and Barry McGann, although, remarkably, he claims to have been starting out when they were finishing. After a stint of missionary work in London and games for clubs in Surrey, he moved up North. The missionary stuff has continued with Loakman, most notably when convincing opponents that drinking that black stuff after the game is not only good for you but fun as well.

''I think Cartha is known as a friendly club, we have the local doctor to the local unemployed to Jim Black the chiropodist, to the man from the Inland Revenue, to the dentist, to everyman,'' says Loakman.

''The coach is Alan French, who used to be with West of Scotland seconds, and it is widely stated around these parts that he is fining the players so hard as he is looking for a second income. He is a stickler for dress sense and timing. If he keeps fining the players the way he has been then he shall be a very rich man soon.'' I seem to remember French driving a BMW, but the two things may be completely unconnected.

But what would Cartha's ambitions rightly be? Can a club, perched on the motorway, without the recent success of some of the other clubs in Glasgow, really try to make it to the top? ''If you think back, Cartha went up to the third division, and we played the likes of Currie and Dundee back then,'' says the man from Ireland. ''We do hope to be back up there as soon as we can. We are one of the clubs going into schools to get kids playing rugby, and we do that at schools like Holyrood and Lourdes, and the kids come.

''We are half-way through our new development, and we are doing that to bring in players and make the place better. Our strength is in our youngsters, and at some time in the future we want to be moving up.''

Loakman may list among his own personal high points a tackle from Andy Ripley, the former English and Lions No.8 who is doing nicely at the rowing these days. Loakman was, he says, blasted half way off the pitch at Richmond. But as Dad's days on the pitch become numbered then it's time to make way for the sons, and, perhaps, to sit back and enjoy their success. There aren't six, so no captaining of a sevens team, but two sons, Michael and Kenneth, are playing the game rather well it appears.

''Well, Michael has played for Scottish schools, and has now joined West after 13 years at Glasgow Southern,'' says Niall of his elder boy. ''Kenneth, the younger one, plays for Cartha Under-16s and 18s.''

All those clients to be looked after at work, all that crack to be had in real life. Cartha have a softball team associated with them, and they have among their number, he says, a wonderful public speaker called Alison. ''I don't know her second name, but I want to be her agent,'' says Loakman, and coming from anyone else it would seem odd.

''Rugby is my life, I love the game,'' he says, parting. ''Oh, and put this down: Far too many blokes in Glasgow give the game up after getting married, or having kids, or going to university. You must play as long as you can.'' Which he did. Happy retirement Niall Loakman.