IF the Octagon theatre needs a quality farce in its summer season of new plays, it should buy up the rights to the script surrounding Bolton Council's handling of the Water Place and the surrounding area in Great Moor Street.

However, for some of us who happen to be unfortunate enough to be trying to earn a living here, it would hardly rank as comedy.

I've been looking through all my newspaper clippings on this subject and quite simply you just couldn't make it up!

Firstly we have the pompous Cllr Gerald Riley quoting that this area is an "eyesore"and something needs to be done about it (July 2 1998).

Secondly, we get "£40 million could be splashed out on the Water Place " plans unveiled to bring this complex into the 21st century, (July 23 1998) Then thirdly, we start to move into top gear with "Water Place 2000 leisure scheme will make Bolton the capital of fun " (Feb 8 1999).

It is at this point that the farce undergoes a metamorphosis and turns into a hybrid cross of something in between a fairy story and a silent movie.

We are more or less left on the edge of our seats in eager anticipation for the rest of the year until Dec 1 1999: £8 million boost for the southern side of town -- the former Cllr Jack Foster proclaiming plans to transform the Water Place into a huge leisure facility were still under discussion.

The happy ending is now in sight until tragedy strikes.

"Water Place will not be sunk by cinema plans (Feb 3 2000), with an admission that council chiefs were in discussion with a new company to revamp the fun swim centre on Great Moor Street.

No play would be complete without a little pathos. Unfortunately this story now begins to nosedive rapidly.

Enter yours truly with plans to save the show (Feb 29 2000) in "Your Views" under the title "Council in at the deep end without a paddle" -- this a genuine attempt to give the script a kiss of life.

Finally, however, this rescue attempt is not to be considered, as our learned and esteemed Leader Cllr Bob Howarth arrives on the scene, and tells me and the BEN to get "my facts right" !! (March 15 2000).

The council it seems were still considering a number of ways forward in what is a very important part of the town centre. The ending to this great drama at this moment in time, however, seems to rest with Alan Titchmarsh and the Ground Force Team who may have been consigned to landscape this important part of town, and plant some shrubbery.

As to the council's attempt to buy up property in order to clean up the area, yes they will do this if you are prepared to sell your property for well under its current market value, with a number of strings attached !

You just couldn't make it up.

Keith A. Owen

Radcliffe road

The Haulgh

Bolton