Andrew Mosley  RSS feed | About

I WAS putting a pillow into its case the other day when it struck me that my parents may not have been quite as generous as they had led me to believe when it came to Christmas.

The difficulty I was experiencing was disproportionate with the actuality of this minimal household task, but it did serve a purpose.

I was suddenly propelled back 30 years to the days when my brother and I would argue about whose pillow case had been filled with the most presents. I think his had, but obviously I've never let this bother me.

The point is we were missing the obvious. The argument shouldn't have been about who had the most presents in their pillow case, but the fact that they were in a pillow case at all.

My mum and dad were obviously relying on them looking big to small people and the fact that our petty jealousies would deflect us from the real issue - we were being ripped off.

Surely our presents should have been encased in a double duvet, though, of course, we didn't have such a thing back then.

But just what could you get in a pillow case? By the time you've stuffed in a board game, some selection boxes, a pack of Liquorice Allsorts, a couple of annuals and a football the case is full. No room for a bike there. I'm surprised my parents didn't adopt the police of giving us something "useful" for Christmas so that when you prised the present out of the pillow case and tore off the wrapping paper you found, yes, a pillow. Hours of fun and you would never be made to put it away at night.

The real point here is that kids are so ungrateful that whatever you give them it is not enough.

A bike? "Wayne's got one that's bigger and better." A PS2? "They're sooooo last year and Kyle's got a PS3."

And the conversation inevitably ends with the older person telling the kid that when they were young they got a shiny sixpence, an orange and some nuts.

I don't have kids, but my cats never show much gratitude for their gifts - huh, typical two-year-olds, not happy with a cat selection box, a play tunnel, some new food bowls, clothes, a bike, iPod, fishing rod etc - and my partner's nephew and niece receive about 200 presents each, mostly good ones as well, but they aren't particularly interested as they are given things throughout the year.

I know I'm a miserable git, but isn't it time we all got over the pretence that we are celebrating the birth of Christ when really we're just out to eat and drink as much as we can and blag as many gifts as possible, preferably without having to shell out too much on other people's?

When we want to give someone a gift, we should, but the High Street should not compel us to buy just because it's December. I don't see why people shouldn't give me something at any time of the year if they feel like it.

On second thoughts, maybe I should just give in and join the happy shoppers next year. For now though, I'm going to take a look around the sales and get myself a king size pillow case.

1:09pm Saturday 22nd December 2007

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