Andrew Mosley  RSS feed | About

I realised some time ago that I was an addict. I haven't really made any great attempt to fight my addiction over the years, but now I'm beginning to realise the damage it's been doing to me.

At least I'm beginning to win the battle, which I resolved to fight this new year, though there have been a couple of relapses.

It started when I was about six. While most other children were into sweets and chocolate, I spurned them. When they moved into fizzy drinks, I didn't.

As I became older, my compatriots got into alcohol, and so did I, but this further fuelled my addiction as I found it went hand in hand with the drink.

By then it was too late. I discovered that I didn't really need meals anymore and had no truck with wasting time sitting at a table when I could just avoid proper eating altogether.

Without wishing to trivialise genuine addictions, while at the same time probably doing so, crisps are like heroin. Once you've had a pack, that's it.

At first it was just plain, then cheese and onion and salt and vinegar, then, as the years rolled by, the dealers (ie shopkeepers) began peddling the likes of beefy, smokey bacon and prawn cocktail. Then it got ridiculous - Worcester sauce, hedgehog, tomato ketchup, four cheese, Thai sweet chilli, and on and on.

Then, just as I thought I'd got through all flavours known to the human race and would now be able to conquer my cravings, along came the likes of Quavers, Monster Munch, Skips, Hula Hoops, Discos and French Fries.

I was in even deeper than before. There was no way out. I had to try them all and, of course, there were the usual multiple flavours of each.

After years of experimentation though, I found that my daily crisp of choice tended to be the old favourites such as cheese and onion or the occasional packet of ready salted, boosted, on the odd day by some salt and vinegar discos.

I never put any weight on because of this addiction, but it did mean that my diet suffered. While other people had sandwiches or salads for lunch, I had crisps. While they went home for a cooked evening meal, I went to the shop for another couple of bags. The daily calorific intake was relatively low, but the nutritional gain was almost nil.

When I finally met someone who persuaded me that meals were actually of more benefit than the endless consumption of crisps, I found it difficult.

Then, on New Year's Eve, while everyone was dreaming up unlikely but potentially life-changing resolutions, I though I would have a go at ditching the thinly sliced, cooked in vegetable oil, crisped potato. I'd seen too many of those healthy eating programmes and the good doctors McKeith and Oliver had finally got to me.

So far, I've not done bad. I think I've had three packs this year. I even bought one because I'd forgotten about my resolution, but left it at my mother's - now she's had them she can't stop.

I think I'm over the worst, but for now I'll just take each day as it comes. My name's Andrew and I'm a crispoholic.

3:24pm Wednesday 13th February 2008

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