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Keep your hands off a masterpiece
9:17am Wednesday 30th April 2008
"DERE was somefing minging in de State of Denmark . . . "
Recognise that opening line? That's the first scene of Shakespeare's masterpiece Hamlet, modernised for the bling generation by satirist Martin Baum.
He has re-written 15 of the Bard's greatest works for his book To Be Or Not To Be, Innit, and insists he is still getting the original message across to a modern generation.
I'm not sure if Romeo and Juliet retains its original charm when it becomes "Romeo And His Fit Bitch Jools", but it made me laugh.
However, Mr Baum is now planning to "give Charles Dickens a good seeing to" in the same way.
So a warning, Mr B, go dat way, man, and me and de Heaton massive will be rearranging your Little Dorrit.
Olympic silver medal for Jason
I'm going to give Jason a big hug - proud gran
Jason Kenny, the 20-year-old Olympic double medal winner from Farnworth, is now looking forward to returning home to celebrate with family and friends.
Bolton bike mechanic who keeps Olympic hero on track
OLYMPIC hero Jason Kenny may be enjoying the glory of winning — but he and his cycling team-mates owe part of their success to the efforts of another Bolton man.
Jason celebrates Olympics silver success
Bolton's cycling ace Jason Kenny has claimed an individual Olympic silver medal to match the gold he already has from the three man sprint.
Kenny's silver lining
FARNWORTH golden boy Jason Kenny could not prevent Chris Hoy making Olympic history.
Hoy tips Jason for London Olympic glory
Olympic hat-trick hero Chris Hoy paid fulsome tribute to the Bolton youngster he beat in the cycling sprint final today and predicted: "He'll win in London."
Jason through to all-British final
Bolton's cycling sensation Jason Kenny qualifies for the sprint final where he can spoil fellow Brit Chris Hoy's gold medal hat-trick party.
Jason ahead after first race
Bolton's cycling ace Jason Kenny wins the first race in his best of three semi-final.
Jason set to let his raw power talk for him on the track
JASON Kenny proved actions speak louder than words by closing in on a dream Olympic sprint final against team mate Chris Hoy.
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