The fag end of the smoking ban

9:15am Friday 2nd May 2008

HOW is the smoking ban affecting you? That question would trigger a host of answers, from very positive to extremely negative.

As most of the people with whom I share air space on a regular basis seem to have been badly hit by the clean air Act of 2007, this column could perhaps be forgiven for being even more downbeat than usual. Nevertheless, in pursuit of a fair assessment, let us first examine the main "benefit" quoted by those in favour of the ban on smoking in public places.

It is now possible to eat and/or drink in restaurants, cafes, clubs and pubs, without being exposed to tobacco fumes from someone else's cigs. However, you may have become aware that there are far more empty spaces than hitherto in said premises, and a goodly proportion of the folk still using them disappear at regular intervals to stand outside, braving whatever the elements throw their way, to satisfy their nicotine addiction. But, hey, every up side has a down one. Right?

You may also have noticed that pavements surrounding the exterior of every eating and/or drinking emporium are littered with discarded butts, growing in number by the week, notwithstanding the managements' provision of waste bins, predictably ignored. At the present rate, some licensed establishments will have a cigarette-end mountain the size of Kilimanjaro at their entrances by the year 2020. However, climbing them will be no problem as, being non-smokers, we will all be much fitter, well those of us still around by then.

Other negatives? The social club where I play drums every weekend has suffered. The concert room is on the first floor and smokers have grown tired of negotiating stairs before wandering outside for a fag. The down trip was easy, but the reverse soon found them out.The people who used that venue for their regular Saturday and Sunday nights out were pretty much all smokers, and those who weren't didn't seem to overly object. If they had, they would have voted with their feet, or lungs.

Pubs and clubs have been worst affected. A number of senior citizens who were former customers, and smokers since their early teens, now stay anchored in their homes, where they can puff away unhindered, with supermarket booze for company to anaesthetise them against the endless dross which clogs TV schedules.

Smokers have become society's pariahs, met with wrinkled noses and barely-concealed looks of loathing, betrayed by the tobacco fumes seeping from their clothes, hair and every pore of their bodies. Cars are now being advertised for sale with the added incentive for potential buyers as being owned, and driven, by a "non-smokers".

It can't be long before estate agents add: "Delightful home, untainted by exhaled tobacco, ideally suited to a healthy family of non-smokers" to their sales jargon. One of my friends, a heavy smoker, has being trying for ages to flog her property. She has had lots of people round, but no offers. She is now seriously considering relocating to her greenhouse in the hope that, in time, her house will smell more like a "des res" than a tap room.

Olympic silver medal for Jason