IF the rumours about Brendan Rodgers losing the dressing room at Liverpool are true, then surely he must face the sack at Anfield.

I mean, no Premier League player should be made to get changed in the corridor.

Things are not looking clever on the red half of Merseyside – with Belgian keeper Simon Mignolet told this week he was being “dropped indefinitely” from the team.

It was a real Ratners moment from Rodgers, and some pep talk. It will have done wonders for the Reds’ chances of recouping the £9million they paid Sunderland for him last summer when he inevitably moves on in the next transfer window.

The Independent newspaper wasted 20 seconds of my life this week, promising Andy Carroll’s response to the question “what would you get team-mate Carl Jenkinson for Christmas” was “hilarious.”

The answer: “Some banter.”

Yes, the spirit of Bill Hicks alive and well, and playing at Upton Park.

Meanwhile, the hilarity continues in the charts as YouTube sensation The Wealdstone Raider (yes, it’s a thing) launches an attempt to be Christmas number one.

The song – using the word in the loosest possible sense – is called “You’ve Got No Fans” and has at least got one saving grace, in that it will raise money for charity.

Repeating his famous – and again I use that term loosely – phrase: “You want some? I’ll give it ya,” ad infinitum, the song actually makes me want to go out and mass-purchase whatever garbage X Factor has churned out this year.

In case you are struggling to picture the aforementioned Mr Raider, imagine sucking all the air out of Simon Pegg and then putting a pair of glasses on him.

Meanwhile, Andrea Pirlo was voted Italy’s best player for a third year in a row.

The bearded veteran – who aside from accident-waiting-to-happen Mario Balotelli is just about the only Italian player with a reputation right now – didn’t have much company in that category.

I heard the runner up was Beppe di Marco from Eastenders.

Finally, Arsenal legend Thierry Henry retired from football this week aged 37. I’m sure tributes to the former France international would have flowed in Ireland, where they were keen to give him a big hand.