HAPPY New Year avid readers of The Wonderer – I’d like to start with a bit of philosophy.

If Gareth Bale dropped a £2 coin in the forest, would it be worth him picking it up?

Answer: Yes, as long as he did it in less than three seconds, by which time he would have earned more than the £2 he dropped.

There was a nice ironic twist at the DW Stadium. Dave Whelan is banned by the FA from all football-related activity for six weeks, so joins the rest of the Wigan public in watching the rugby league instead.

Craig Bellamy returned to football with a new role as Academy Coach.

I saw him brilliantly described on Twitter as a fella who looks like “a chimney sweep who won the lottery” and honestly can’t think of a better role model for young footballers.

Naughty boy Jacob Murphy enraged Blackpool fans by sending a Snapchat message with the caption “We’re going to lose... again” before their game against Sheffield Wednesday.

Now I’m starting to regret sending him Gary Megson’s book: How to win friends and influence people on the terraces.

The winger’s loan was cut short and he left Bloomfield Road immediately, so every grey cloud and all that.

Arsene Wenger has called for a panel of judges to decide whether players have dived or not in Premier League games.

I’m all for that, just so long as they don’t employ Jo Brand like they did in that God-awful ITV show with Vernon Kay.

Crystal Palace assistant Keith Millen believes Alan Pardew is a “good fit” to be the new manager at Selhurst Park. The noise which followed his assessment was the sound of 150,000 Geordies nodding in approval.

Football League chief executive Shaun Harvey says he is “disappointed” that 10 Premier League games will now be shown on a Friday night, as part of new plans.

Interesting choice of words. Imagine how “disappointed” working Wanderers fans were a couple of months ago when their game at Norwich was shifted from pillar to post, ending up on an impossible Friday night in Norfolk.

How about we just get back to getting people through the gates, eh?

Leo Messi showed the world a new tattoo on his left leg – surely the most valuable piece of footballing real estate on the planet.

The result? A right dog’s dinner that looks more like it belongs on the calf of a 45-year-old builder from Guilford.

Meanwhile, the knives already look to be out for ex-Wanderer Neil Redfearn at Elland Road, with tabloids suggesting owner Massimo Cellino is ready to make another change of manager.

Leeds have slid towards the relegation zone in the last few months but seriously? Five managers in seven months?

I have changed my socks less often.