MARC ILES' WORLD CUP SIDESHOW: It should be three bites and out for Luis Suarez
Updated 7:39am Thursday 26th June 2014 in Sport
IF Luis Suarez is going to act like a two-year-old, it’s time for FIFA to put him on the naughty step.
It looks as if the World Cup is over for the Liverpool and Uruguay striker following his insane decision to – allegedly – bite Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini on Tuesday night.
“These things happen on the pitch,” he said, shrugging off questions from the massed ranks of bemused press after the South Americans’ 1-0 win had booked their place in the last 16.
Except it doesn’t, does it Luis? Unless the game you are playing is a live action re-telling of Resident Evil.
On a sliding scale a bite is at one end, while elbows, punches, shoves and high tackles are further down the pecking order. It is just not acceptable.
Unsurprisingly, sympathy is pretty thin on the ground on these shores. Yes, some of it fills the column inches vacated by England’s abject failure but that shouldn’t mask the fact this supposed genius is clearly a man in need of some serious professional help.
People keep referring to him as a flawed genius; my own description uses language a little stronger. And in my view, FIFA have no choice but to throw the book at him. When my youngest son was, well, younger, he often took out his frustrations by taking a chomp out of something or someone.
I’ve had a few awkward calls from nursery teachers, explaining such behaviour just isn’t acceptable, and made a couple of grovelling apologies to fellow parents.
Thankfully, he has grown out of that now and has learned to get stroppy in an entirely more verbal way.
Fixing the issue involved a lot of parenting tricks my wife probably pinched from Supernanny but invariably meant putting him on the “naughty step” for the appropriate length of time. Surely it is the same principle for Suarez. I feel sorry for his club Liverpool, who now find themselves in an impossible situation.
Brendan Rogers would ideally want to keep a player who, all behavioural issues aside, is probably the best striker in the Premier League. But how many times must the club’s name be dragged through the mud before they cut him free?
Suarez had already been teeing himself up for a move to Spain by insulting the big, bad English media for continually highlighting his indiscretions. My heart bleeds.
The Merseyside club lost face when they rallied round the Uruguayan when he took a chomp out of Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanovic in the Premier League last year – that was the SECOND time he had done it, having also nibbled a PSV player whilst playing for Ajax in 2010.
This is a third strike and should amount to a serious punishment.
Ilesy’s TV heaven
Gianluca Vialli’s immaculate Italian shirt with a widespread collar that could have put Harry Hill to shame. It certainly out-classed Alan Shearer’s Top Man effort.
Ilesy’s TV hell
Glen Hoddle’s bling ring, which could potentially have been melted down and sold to create an entire stadium at the World Cup finals.