MARC ILES' WORLD CUP SIDESHOW: It should be three bites and out for Luis Suarez

The Bolton News: BITING BACK Luis Suarez is facing a long ban but a career path in the meantime could see him advertise Apple products if the logo is anything to go by BITING BACK Luis Suarez is facing a long ban but a career path in the meantime could see him advertise Apple products if the logo is anything to go by

IF Luis Suarez is going to act like a two-year-old, it’s time for FIFA to put him on the naughty step.

It looks as if the World Cup is over for the Liverpool and Uruguay striker following his insane decision to – allegedly – bite Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini on Tuesday night.

“These things happen on the pitch,” he said, shrugging off questions from the massed ranks of bemused press after the South Americans’ 1-0 win had booked their place in the last 16.

Except it doesn’t, does it Luis? Unless the game you are playing is a live action re-telling of Resident Evil.

On a sliding scale a bite is at one end, while elbows, punches, shoves and high tackles are further down the pecking order. It is just not acceptable.

Unsurprisingly, sympathy is pretty thin on the ground on these shores. Yes, some of it fills the column inches vacated by England’s abject failure but that shouldn’t mask the fact this supposed genius is clearly a man in need of some serious professional help.

People keep referring to him as a flawed genius; my own description uses language a little stronger. And in my view, FIFA have no choice but to throw the book at him. When my youngest son was, well, younger, he often took out his frustrations by taking a chomp out of something or someone.

I’ve had a few awkward calls from nursery teachers, explaining such behaviour just isn’t acceptable, and made a couple of grovelling apologies to fellow parents.

Thankfully, he has grown out of that now and has learned to get stroppy in an entirely more verbal way.

Fixing the issue involved a lot of parenting tricks my wife probably pinched from Supernanny but invariably meant putting him on the “naughty step” for the appropriate length of time. Surely it is the same principle for Suarez. I feel sorry for his club Liverpool, who now find themselves in an impossible situation.

Brendan Rogers would ideally want to keep a player who, all behavioural issues aside, is probably the best striker in the Premier League. But how many times must the club’s name be dragged through the mud before they cut him free?

Suarez had already been teeing himself up for a move to Spain by insulting the big, bad English media for continually highlighting his indiscretions. My heart bleeds.

The Merseyside club lost face when they rallied round the Uruguayan when he took a chomp out of Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanovic in the Premier League last year – that was the SECOND time he had done it, having also nibbled a PSV player whilst playing for Ajax in 2010.

This is a third strike and should amount to a serious punishment.

Ilesy’s TV heaven

Gianluca Vialli’s immaculate Italian shirt with a widespread collar that could have put Harry Hill to shame. It certainly out-classed Alan Shearer’s Top Man effort.

Ilesy’s TV hell

Glen Hoddle’s bling ring, which could potentially have been melted down and sold to create an entire stadium at the World Cup finals.

Comments (2)

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11:54am Thu 26 Jun 14

Reebok Al says...

The vampire bunny strikes again.
"These things happen on the pitch" he says.
They do when he's playing.
The vampire bunny strikes again. "These things happen on the pitch" he says. They do when he's playing. Reebok Al
  • Score: 0

12:13pm Fri 27 Jun 14

imoerthere says...

It seems to me that there is a lot of hysteria about this incident. Granted, biting is distasteful - pardon the pun - and I am not for one second condoning it. However, the outpouring of ire seems disproportionate when you consider the acts of real violence that are routinely meted out on the field. Flying elbows in faces, tackles over the ball, butting - all of which could result in career threatening injuries - are seemingly all part of the game and only merit a discussion as to whether it is a red card offence or not. Biting someone in a pub might result in a fine. Butting someone could result in a custodial sentence. Seems to me that the football authorities have misplaced their penal priorities.
It seems to me that there is a lot of hysteria about this incident. Granted, biting is distasteful - pardon the pun - and I am not for one second condoning it. However, the outpouring of ire seems disproportionate when you consider the acts of real violence that are routinely meted out on the field. Flying elbows in faces, tackles over the ball, butting - all of which could result in career threatening injuries - are seemingly all part of the game and only merit a discussion as to whether it is a red card offence or not. Biting someone in a pub might result in a fine. Butting someone could result in a custodial sentence. Seems to me that the football authorities have misplaced their penal priorities. imoerthere
  • Score: -2

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