IN our “because we’re worth it” society, which puts individual needs before everything else, we often get divorced too quickly without properly considering the needs of our children.

If a home has been unhappy, it’s probably not too surprising that one or both partners sees a split as the way to change that atmosphere and improve life for themselves and their children. But what tends to happen these days is that one in five children loses contact with a parent after separation.

There has been growing evidence that children who can retain a relationship with both parents do better in all areas of life.

So, sensibly, the Government is now planning radical changes to the 1989 Children’s Act, which may have led to mothers appearing more important than fathers and with courts acting accordingly.

The Government doesn’t even think that courts are the best place to settle custody matters and it’s putting aside £10 million for mediation services so parents can resolve problems away from court.

The latest move overturns the main finding of a family justice review published in November which concluded that giving fathers shared or equal time, or the right to keep a meaningful relationship with their child, “would do more harm than good”. Not too surprisingly, this prompted uproar.

Children need their parents, both parents if at all possible, unless there is proof that doing this will harm them in some way.

Many fathers are far from the feckless stereotypes, wanting to keep in touch with their children and take an active part in their welfare.

Unfortunately, a divorce going through the courts can turn into a domestic battleground in which children become the ammunition acrimonious adults fire at each other.

This exacerbates an often very unhappy situation for the children involved, leading to all kinds of emotional turmoil and possible long-term problems shown in everything from general behaviour to education.

It is simply wrong to believe that there is such a thing as a “good divorce”

because children always suffer to some measure.

Only a couple of generations ago, divorce was rare and people were far more prepared to “work” at a marriage.

Today, marriage guidance counselling may still get couples over a rough patch and on to a more positive path together.

Contrary to what many selfish adults believe, marriage, is not just about them but also their children