THERE’S nothing quite like a relaxing break at a spa hotel … and this was nothing quite like a relaxing break at a spa hotel.

The hotel was great – well worth the trip – just leave the kids at home.

I’m still relatively new to this parenting lark. We’re just over two years in, and have a second on the way.

You’re probably thinking the same thing I was on our way up – what are they doing, taking a toddler on what should be a stress-free weekend getaway?

In short, the free-childcare – aka granny and grandad – were double booked. How dare they? What is the world coming to when you can’t off-load your precious first-born onto your folks at a moment’s notice?

I’d hoped the second pair of grandparents might be persuaded too, but they didn’t fancy the 200-mile trip from their home in the midlands to look after the little monster either. They had dinner plans apparently.

I don’t like all this 70 is the new 50 business. Our parents have a better social life than we do, when they’re not acting as a creche for our toddler, that is.

But I digress. Just off junction 38 of the M6, not far from Penrith, the North Lakes Hotel and Spa is an easy hour-and-a-half drive, give or take 10 minutes, depending on whereabouts you are coming from in Lancashire.

It’s not much to look at from the outside – giving off more of a 1990s Travelodge feel than luxury spa hotel – but once inside, that changes immediately.

You are greeted by a roaring fire and lounge area next to reception, and a cosy bar (with another log fire) beyond. Perfect for a festive getaway.

Fire is a big theme here, in fact. The hotel’s new flagship restaurant – FYR – makes a big play of it’s open fire grill, but more of that later.

I was booked in for a 3pm massage – just enough time to check in (or so I thought). But as always, when a two-year-old’s in charge, things weren’t going to plan.

We arrived late, stressed, arguing and knackered, like three of the seven dwarves – grumpy, dopey and sleepy – and that was just me.

The welcome was as warm as you would expect from a Daniel Thwaites hotel though, and the chap on reception was good enough to help me with all our belongings from the car – it felt more like we were moving house than going on a night away we had that much stuff.

At 3.15pm I made it to the spa. Once I’d signed in, de-robed and settled in I had just over half an hour left of my hour-long appointment. Nevertheless, this was the most relaxing 37 minutes I’ve had in 2018. That brief rubdown alone was worth the motorway drive.

My other half – seven-months pregnant – was next. I returned to take over childcare while she had her spa treatment.

All that relaxation was undone within five minutes. The toddler was tearing up and down the hotel corridor and I was tearing my hair out.

The knots returned to my shoulders, the aches and pains were back in my back and my headache greeted me like an old friend that had never been away.

Still, it wouldn’t be long until my long-suffering fiancée returned, and I remembered the bar was open. What kind of reviewer would I be if I didn’t test out the full range of ales on offer?

A pint and a half of Wainwright’s later I was finally relaxed again, my son was entranced by the roaring fire, and I only occasionally had to shout ‘put that poker down’…

The wife-to-be returned refreshed and we headed off for an early dinner at the hotel’s new FYR restaurant.

It was excellent. I went all in on the steak, cooked in front of you on an open flame grill in the middle of the room.

A bit of a gimmick, but impressive nonetheless, and it was cooked to perfection. Every Saturday, the chef runs a masterclass, demonstrating how to grill a perfect sirloin – very much worth checking this out if you go.

The next day we had planned to visit nearby Keswick – but our little man wanted to go to the park round the corner from our house. Who’d be a parent?

Keswick is worth a visit, though. It’s a lovely little town, good for shopping and walking, and the North Lakes Hotel is the perfect base if you want to explore that part of the region. Just make sure you’ve got a babysitter before you book your trip.

MORE INFORMATION

The North Lakes Hotel and Spa, part of the House of Daniel Thwaites Collection, is located in the historic town of Penrith, Cumbria.

This four-star hotel is ideally located for exploring the wonderful Lake District.

The interior design strongly draws on inspiration from the stunning Cumbrian countryside blending rustic charm with modern touches.

Guests can relax in the beautiful spa with pool, gym and treatment rooms.

The North Lakes Hotel and Spa offers guests a new dining experience in FYR (pronounced fire) Cumbria’s only open fire grill restaurant.

Diners are be able to watch the team of chefs transform regionally-sourced ingredients into tempting dishes in the heart of the restaurant, creating a culinary visual experience to savour.