IT seems that there are few depths that the producers of reality television are unwilling to plumb.

Following the “success” of Jodie Marsh: Who Will Take Her Up The Aisle and Calum Best: There’s More To Me Than Humping Fellow C-Listers (I paraphrase, but still), we are now presented with Paris Hilton: New Best Friend.

Yes, the pointless blonde is looking for a replacement for Nicole, Lindsay, Britney and all the other “BFFs” (that’s best friends forever, to anyone over 16) she’s fallen out with in the last three weeks.

Despite her mother’s best attempts Barack Obama wasn’t so interested, so Paris has turned to the tried and tested method of auditioning people through a series of “hilarious” tasks. On ITV2.

But it did get me thinking about reality TV shows I’d like to see.

These include Bono: Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is and John Prescott’s Guide To Healthy Eating.

For the youth market, I’d pitch Russell Brand: Gets A Crew Cut, which would involve a Sampson and Delilah-style testing of Brand’s relative attractiveness and marketability in the face of gradually decreasing length of locks.

And Naomi Campbell could host a show where ten temperamentally-disturbed celebrities attempt to live their lives a la the principles set out in Zen and the Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance. However, this would mean actually reading a book first, and is therefore unlikely to happen.

Of course, the best ideas are always someone else’s, and so my favourite suggestion of all comes from Luke Harrison, leader of the Phoenix Theatre’s junk band, who suggested politics-meets-Shakespeare in David Mililband: Et Tu, Brute?

Now, how do we get it commissioned?