THE Oscars are traditionally a night when the stars step out in their glad rags having spent a couple of days getting ready - hours with the make-up artists, hairdresser, stylist.

For the most part, they tend to get it right but, as always, a couple do somehow slip through the net of good taste and spiral into the sea of complete tackiness.

And here are two of those floundering fish - and that's nothing to do with their trout pouts.

Pamela Anderson, decided that, while there will probably never be the merest whiff of an Oscar in her Malibu mansion, she'd grab the attention of the world's paparazzi by dressing as if she were going to the local wine bar.

Her promise to refrain from flashing her implants at any possible opportunity seems to have been forgotten as she hovers around the red carpet of Mortons in a desperate bid to be noticed.

And fashion designer Donatella Versace, arrived at the same Vanity Fair after-Oscar party stunned at losing out on the award for the person with the most nut-brown, sunbed tan in Tinsletown.

All's well that ends well:

PEOPLE are all too quick to report bad service or rude shop assistants yet few take the time to actually dish out praise when its needed.

So here goes. A pat on the back for staff at Bolton Arena. I had made a complaint to the general manager about a certain member of staff over her attitude towards me and a friend after we cancelled a yoga class.

The complaint was quickly passed on to the relevant manager who, in turn, rang me the next day and not only apologised but explained what procedure would be taken with the member of staff in question and how he planned to rectify the situation.

For me, that was enough but he insisted my friend and I enjoy a complimentary yoga class. When we arrived for the class on Monday evening, a computer fault had wiped our names off the list.

This time another member of staff was manning the reception and when we explained why we hadn't got our tickets (because the class was complimentary) she presented us with two more and offered another class free for "messing up again".

End of a ritual:

I DON'T know how I'm going to break the news to my husband and son. I mean, it's been part of the ritual on our weekend trips up to York or Newcastle - stopping off at the Little Chef on the A64 for an All Day Breakfast.

It's always like stepping back in time - tea and coffee served on little individual trays and a lollipop for the kids if they cleaned their plates.

Little Chefs always appeared like an oasis at the side of a road - springing up out of nowhere with the promise of a pot of tea and a speciality pancake.

Now the chain, started by Forte 48 years ago, is up for sale and rumour has it that any potential new owners - McDonald's is one being mooted - will probably just want its prime sites and ditch the rest.

The A64 will never be the same again.

Fairer deal for dads on cards:

IN Scandanavia, both parents of newborn babies can share maternity/paternity leave - with pay.

This can only result in happy mums and dads and a child whose early formative months are spent equally with each parents, thus forming a bond with mum and dad.

In this country, there is a proposal to extend paid maternity leave to nine months by 2007 and 12 months in five years. It is also suggested that fathers should be able to take six months of their partner's leave and pay - now they are allowed just two weeks leave. This can only be a good thing.

The Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development is one of the organisations which has called for an increase in the amount that new fathers are paid during paternity leave.

According to the CIPD's research, the current amount of £102.80 per week is insufficient to tempt almost half of men to apply for statutory paternity leave.

The government is also proposing more flexible working hours for all parents with children under the age of 17.

Nothing prepares you for the intricate juggling of parenthood and career.

While lots of mothers would like to give up work completely to look after their children, but cannot afford to, there are just as many who enjoy their job and want to carry on working.

They have progressed up the career ladder through sheer hard work and determination. Being a parent is surely the best job in the world - albeit one of the worst paid - and just because you are a doting mum or dad should not mean you cannot enjoy your family and keep your career too.

Kiss and tell:

SO Charlotte Church's ex boyfriend - the chivalrous Kyle Johnson has been on the receiving end of Ms Church's left hook after spilling the beans about their love life.

He revealed all to a national newspaper and now the Voice of an Angel's mum, Maria, says her daughter feels betrayed.

I bet what she's really dying to say to her 19-year-old daughter is "I told you so."

So right to punish litter droppers:

SOME might call it a nanny state but I'm all for the spy vans being strategically placed outside some Bolton schools to trap youngsters dropping litter.

The outcome of this resulted in 60 pupils being handed £50 fixed penalty fines. Hopefully their respective parents will make them pay their forfeits themselves and not bail them out in any way.

Then perhaps the expensive reality of what they've done will hit them where it hurts. Nothing affects young people more than looking uncool in front of their mates or not having the money to keep up with them.

Mind you, is there any hope for some of these children when they see their parents thinking nothing of emptying the car ashtray out on to the street.

When sleep is a memory:

APPARENTLY we all loose about 68 nights sleep a year - doctors have been studying the sleep patterns of 10,000 people and the results revealed only one in 10 gets a full eight hours sleep.

The culprits are too much partying, working longer hours, staying up late watching DVDs or playing game consoles.

Try having kids - that's when sleep becomes just a distant memory.