IT would be easier to use the votes (or non-votes) cast at the Eurovision Song Contest to see how the United Kingdom is viewed across Europe, post-Iraq, had not our song been the worst one presented.

Within four seconds of Jemini's performance, we were looking at each other in disbelief as we heard the most excruciatingly off-key performance in years, of a song that is only "very poor" when sung well.

However, what really surprised me was Terry Wogan's reaction. He is the unrivalled Euro king of the mickey take and I waited for his witty respsonse, only to be told, at least three times, that the duo performed the song "well".

The words "standard" and "double" spring to mind. Surely if it's good enough to poke fun at the efforts of other countries, why not our own as well? Perhaps, there, in that moment of unnecessary bias, lies a better reason for us being treated like a bad smell by other European countries.

Having said that, should we ever "earn" a place in the contest in the future, it might help if the BBC declares publicly, so that all other countries receive the message, that after listening to all the songs, the viewers will be asked simply to vote for the top 10 countries we would most like to visit, and to ignore the music.

Then we will be falling in line with everybody else, Terry Wogan won't need to act quite so surprised and angry by the voting system and we can gently expose the folly of bothering with the songs in the first place.

In fact, let's just call it the "Eurovision Popularity Contest", do away with the songs and then it need only last an hour as we eagerly anticipate which country is going to finish just above us, in second-last place.

The really good news is that we could have two Eurovisions next year. Can't wait!

Graham Cook

Whalley Avenue

Bolton