FAME is a very fickle thing. Yesterday's stars are tomorrow's has-beens. Only real talent endures, and the other stuff is passing fancy.

Michael Barrymore and Anthea Turner are currently desperately trying to get back into the public eye. She by "poor me" bleating in a Sunday newspaper about how misunderstood and bullied she is, and he by turning up on the surprising docu-soap The Salon.

Anthea, if you've any genuine skills, now is the time to show them. Reinvent yourself, and quickly, if you want to compete on national TV.

And Michael, forget it. You sounded dull and desperate on The Salon where the brightest stars are the completely natural staff.

Your career needs more than a temporary re-style. It needs a drastic cut and conditioning until you are squeaky clean.