THE BRANDON family inhabit an absurd Northern world where men say nowt if they can help it, and women carp endlessly without ever getting anywhere.

They live an exceptionally unexceptional life revolving around visits to the local pub, taking the dog for a walk, eating tea (the same pickled onions, stale cream crackers and Cheshire cheese every evening) and siding the table.

But gradually, events begin to take a very surreal turn. Bizarre deaths become a regular occurrence, a baby owl turns up, ageing Auntie Lil gets pregnant and geriatric Uncle Stavely decamps from the old folks home to the attic (joined soon after by the legless Corporal Parkinson).

Then Daniel arrives and the Brandon household is turned completely upside down...

A Touch of Daniel by Peter Tinniswood is published by Prion at £9.99.