DON'T go on the tourist trail,

Unless you've lots of money.

You want to, 'cos it's raining here,

You'd like to be where it's sunny.

You 'phone the travel agent,

To ask about a price.

They try to talk you into it,

"Oh yes, it's very nice.

"Not far from the centre,

"There's plenty going on"

But all you want is somewhere cheap,

A fortnight in the sun.

Of course, there is insurance,

And also airport tax.

And have you thought about your 'spends'?

You'll need that to relax.

Have you considered eating?

Your meals could cost a lot.

Or maybe go self-catering

Buy food on the spot.

Book the dog into the kennels,

For that you'll need a loan.

On second thoughts it would be best,

If you just stayed at home!

D Thornley

Little Lever

Bolton