Ruth Stubbs, who had a mastectomy exactly 25 years ago TWENTY-FIVE years ago Ruth Stubbs had a mastectomy -- at a time when it was still a taboo subject.

Now the grandmother from Sharples wants to tell her story to give other women a message of hope.

"It's a cause for celebration because it's 25 years of things that I might never have seen," said Ruth.

"It possibly gives hope to other people-- it isn't all doom and gloom."

Ruth was just 28 when the cancer first struck -- although she thought she was simply too young to get the disease.

"My youngest child was only four months when I first found these dreaded lumps," she said. "And with the baby being so young they thought it was mastitis.

"They took them out and thought they wouldn't be anything but they were cancerous."

The result, said Ruth, came "out of the blue".

"I was gobsmacked," she said.

In those days, the care was different, she recalled. Doctors "skirted around" the possibility of a mastectomy, while consultations took place with only the curtain of a cubicle for privacy.

When the doctor first said: "It would be better if we take it off", Ruth "nearly died a death". Understandably, she cried, became hysterical.

"But," said Ruth, "I had the presence of mind to think: 'Tell me what options there are'. I didn't just take it lying down."

In the end, Ruth opted for radiotherapy."I thought, perhaps by the time I get to 40, they might have found a cure or I might not feel as bad about a mastectomy.

"When you're 28, 40 seems old and I thought: 'By then I don't think I would mind anymore'.

"It could work, so I thought I'd hang on to what I've got. I didn't know anything about it, really."

The treatment was "quite traumatic", said Ruth. Healthy skin areas had to be covered with sandbags during the sessions, but she still ended up with scars.

With three small children to care for at home, the process also left her feeling run down, exhausted and depressed.

To make things worse, she felt misunderstood and found that some people would rather avoid her.

Three and a half years later, the cancer struck again in exactly the same place -- this time resulting in a mastectomy.

"I knew it was the only way," said Ruth.

An operation to remove her left breast quickly followed. This time, she didn't have to "check" herself the way she had done after the lumps were removed -- she knew she only had half of her bosom left.

"The nurses wanted me to look, but I wanted to do it in my own time," she said.

"You do go through a grieving period and it's hard and it does take a while -- you can't rush it."

Yet she had to move on.

"I'm no paragon of virtue, but you have got to go forward," she shrugged.

So that's what Ruth did. The day after the operation, she stood up and washed her hair and a week later, she was already driving a car. She said she couldn't have done it without the help of friends and family. Her husband, too, was "very good" with her -- even taking out the stitches because she was too frightened to wait for the district nurse to do it.

And on a private level, she had started to accept her altered body.

"To me, sexuality isn't just about a breast," she quoted an author.

Breast reconstruction isn't something she has ever considered, as she is afraid of possible side effects.

"I couldn't be bothered. If what you've got works, why interfere?"

Yet there's one area where Ruth still struggles -- dressing.

Things have moved on since male staff served her at a Bolton prosthetic shop -- a place straight "from the arc", according to Ruth.

But, she added, the area still doesn't cater well enough for women like her. Buying bras, swimwear and tops -- nothing plain, fitted or low cut -- often involves a long shopping trip or mail order.

Ruth, an information administration officer at Community Healthcare Bolton NHS Trust, wants to dress fashionably -- but she also wants to "detract" attention away from her chest.

"People who don't know me don't realise and it's not something I'm paranoid about, but it's just that I'm particular about clothes."

But all this is a small price to pay, she explained.

Looking back over the 25 years, she said: "I have loved seeing my children grow up, go to university and get married and have grandchildren.

"There have been a lot of good things."