THE DEATH of a pet is one of the most distressing moments in the life of any animal lover.

The bond you have established over the years is often compared to any other relationship within the family -- devastation and emotional upset is a very natural reaction.

It's also quite normal to blame yourself, particularly if the symptoms went unchecked, or you lose your pet in a tragic accident. The nagging feeling that it could have possibly been avoided makes the grieving process 10 times worse.

You might also think that others could have done more to help. Blaming yourself or anyone else really isn't the answer. If you have given your pet a good life, with all the care and attention that your companion deserves, then you could have done no more.

Your vet will prolong any animal's life with all the help and treatment it needs, but if he or she is in constant pain and is suffering, with recovery unlikely, then the kindest advice might be to put them gently to sleep.

If your pet isn't seriously ill, don't feel pressurised to make an immediate decision. Do listen to your vet or veterinary nurse, they will be very sympathetic, and will guide you in ensuring that your pet's best interests are your first consideration.

At first you will probably feel that no other creature could possibly take the place of your lost friend, but give it time. Just think of all the happiness you have been able to share -- there really is another pet out there that would love a good home.

On a cheerier note, we continue here answering readers' questions: Q: My 11-year-old son desperately wants a pet. We live in a flat and we are not allowed to keep cats or dogs, what would you suggest as a suitable and reasonably cheap pet that he could easily care for?

If it's an easy life you want, fish are ideal -- they demand little of you and don't make any noise or mess! There are two main types of fish coldwater and tropical.

The goldfish is the most popular coldwater variety and they can live for up to 10 years or more, in an adequately sized fish tank. Golden and Silver Orfe are very attractive too.

If your son was hoping for something a little furrier, what about a domestic rat? They are totally different to the vermin variety and generally suffer bad publicity just by association!

Tame rats are quite social animals and so are best kept in pairs. They will happily live in a clean, airy cage with paper bedding and a nesting box, plus a few toys for them to climb and crawl around. A rat's daily diet should consist of seeds, grains, nuts, washed fruit and vegetables, with the odd bit of hard wood to gnaw on, which makes them quite simple and inexpensive to keep.

Rats have a reputation for being very intelligent, capable of learning to come when called and perform small tricks for reward. Sadly, they have a relatively short life, around two to three years, but they need very little taming and are generally friendly and respond to companionship.