Telephone, gas and electric,

Are making life so hectic,

Decisions to be made on each event,

Whether to gain from decreased rent.

Paths to be dug and cable laid,

Uprooting my flower bed, newly laid,

Will the flags be set anew,

Or forever remain askew?

The pavement resembles a

Cross patched quilt,

Angled steep with so

Much guilt.

And when one trips

With such a shout,

I'll be blamed, without

A doubt!

When frozen over, the car refuses,

To climb a hill that so abuses,

Only one thing will suffice,

Ring the helpline and vulgarise. By Ian Plant,

Thornton Avenue,

Heaton, Bolton.

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Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.