THE announcement by the Duke and Duchess of York that they are to pursue an uncontested "fast-track" divorce will pull the plug on an unhappy episode of the royal soap opera.

That Fergie had gone a gaffe too far when her notorious pool-side romp with American playboy John Bryan appeared in the national press is beyond dispute.

Yet it is hard not to feel some sympathy for the ebullient, if naive Sloane Ranger, who struggled to live by an anachronistic royal code at a time when the media no longer heeded the same rules.

Just decades ago, the Press and TV were immensely deferential to the monarchy, balking at anything that carried the faintest whiff of scandal. Now, the royals are treated like one of the few remaining nationalised industries - and their private activities are the subject of intense public scrutiny.

Nonetheless, the duchess was responsible for her own actions - and like other members of the Royal Family, she must live with the consequences. Arts injustice CONTRARY to much-vaunted promises, National Lottery arts' cash is more likely to go to big organisations who put their own funds into projects than smaller groups.

Only one local group has received a grant so far and Bolton councillors have rightly hit out at the apparent Southern-bias of cash distribution. Plainly, if you are a local group needing money, the fickle finger of the Lottery will probably not be pointing to you. Brave idea HEAP good news. Red Indian totem poles will be springing up around Bolton as part of a community project.

Famous local faces like Fred Dibnah's will adorn the carved columns, all created by local folk. The scheme sounds just the job for cheering up open spaces, and prompting smiles all round - providing the vandals also get into the fun spirit, and leave them be.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.