ANYONE who doesn't yet share my opinion that the world has gone completely barmy will surely have had any lingering hopes they harboured for mankind's collective lunacy blown away by a story which appeared last Friday.

It concerned an auction of two hairnets worn by Ena Sharples, the Coronation Street battleaxe who became a leading character in the Granada soap following its launch in 1960.

Ena, described as a 'Corrie legend', wore a hairnet as a permanent prop; she was rarely, if ever, seen without one. The severity of her hairstyle atop a permanently scowling face gave Ena the appearance of a bulldog chewing a wasp. Definitely not a woman to mess with.

I never met Violet Carson, who played Ena, but remember her when she was resident pianist on the Wilfred Pickles BBC radio programme 'Have A Go' in the late 1940s, early 50s. She was a pleasant-looking woman before she metamorphosed into the scowling harridan of Corrie.

'Have A Go' was a roadshow which toured the UK, with Wilfred inviting members of the audience to have a go -- singing, telling jokes, reciting poetry. On reflection it was excruciatingly bad. Back then we thought it was wonderful. How times change.

Back to those hairnets. According to the auctioneer, the Street's 'enduring popularity' had made the sale 'particularly interesting'.

Surely anyone who thinks that two strands of netting, reputedly part of Violet Carson's Corrie wardrobe, are worth owning, and is prepared to bid hard cash for the privilege, has to be seriously daft?

What will he/she do with them? Perhaps keep them in a safe and only take them out at viewing sessions for specially-invited Corrie nuts like my Mrs, who would rearrange her entire domestic and social timetable rather than miss an episode.

What are you supposed to say at such mind-numbing events? Mumble appreciation of their continuing elasticity? Reflect wistfully about Ena's aggression and the no-nonsense Lancashire lifestyle she portrayed before drugs, sex and rock'n'roll invaded downtown Weatherfield, turning it into a northern version of the terminally-depressing EastEnders?

I can understand people paying shedloads of money for painting and sculptures by the Masters. I find it incomprehensible that anyone would want to own Ena Sharples' hairnets.

Why stop there? How about Norman Wisdom's ill-fitting suit and that trademark cap? Someone who collects showbiz memorabilia would probably prize 'Norman Pitkin's' outfit.

Whoever gets that suit and cap once Norman no longer has use for them, could hold special showings for 'Pitkin' aficionados, making everyone yell 'Mr Grimsdale' as they entered the hall.

Yes. The era of the barmpot has truly arrived. Beam me up, Ena!