THE washing machine broke down -- again -- over Christmas. Yep. The day before Christmas Eve my washer/dryer decided to take the festive season off.

Bearing in mind I had just stripped the beds -- why do we always want clean sheets "for Christmas"? -- so the washbasket was overflowing and its top was balancing precariously on about 10 pillowcases. Seeing as this was the fourth time in a month the washer had conked out, I simply couldn't face yet another engineer muddying up my kitchen, drinking my tea and saying, in a condescending manner: "It's your bra wires love, they always bung up these machines".

So my husband and I decided it was time to get a new one.

But a visit to the showroom produced even more headaches.

"Ooh no, we can't possible deliver before Christmas," said the girl sporting a pair of sparkly reindeer antlers. "Not now with Christmas and all."

By now I was ready to strip off, stuff all my dirty clothes into one of the demo washers on show and run round the showroom screaming: "I hate Christmaaaaaas". But I didn't.

Instead I gritted my teeth and made a bargain.

"What if we picked up the new washer/dryer ourselves, took it home, connected it and, while it's Christmas, disposed of the old one ourselves?

"Then all you, the retailer and taker of our money, would have to do is absolutely nothing. Nada."

"Well," she mused, antlers bobbing about, "Yeah I suppose that would be okay. Let me have look in the back to see if we've got one in stock."

Ha, ha, yes you've guessed. Nowt.

"We've got another washer/dryer in the back," she said, "but it's a more expensive model."

I imagined this mysterious "in the back" -- a place where little giggling sales staff would squeal with laughter as they told their colleague "ooh, this one looks like she's going to combust, tell her we haven't got it in stock and THEN let's see the fur fly, tee hee."

Needless to say, my need for a washer that worked was greater than hoarding the pennies, so we took "the one in the back" home. My husband, who I admit is a bit of a whizz kid when it comes to anything electrical, connected it and my washing was whizzing round in minutes.

Hurrah. Clean clothes in which to eat our Christmas dinner.

Albeit wet ones.

The dryer refused to work. However, if I even attempt to tell you THAT story I believe I will totally lose my already fragile mind.