Deirdre's neck. Long ago, when Coronation Street's Dreary Deirdre was merely a Hunt, and then a newly-wed Barlow, her neck worked happily in tandem with the rest of her body.

But as ever with these luvvie types, it realised it had a future as a solo star, and the warning signs were there when Deirdre had her fling with Mike Baldwin. As she pleaded with Ken to take her back, we were really watching the neck, weren't we!

The neck was a major player too in the unlikely wooing of Moroccan waiter Samir Rashid. He obviously hadn't met a woman before who sported an entire autonomous body part.

But, predictably in the crazy world of soap operas, Samir was killed by a mysterious gang of thugs, who have never been caught. Not even the neck could solve that one.

It had a big role to play in the jailing of Deirdre, too. I'm not surprised they put her in prison, but understandably they had to let her out. Fellow prisoners would have strangled her at the first opportunity.

But the neck gave its finest performance yet this week as Deirdre persuaded Ken to withdraw his resignation notice following the Aiden Critchley affair.

So where next for the neck? Surely it will have to leave the Street and embark on a solo career, although it should take note of previous failures, notably Bet Gilroy's wig, which ended up doing summer seasons in Clacton.

All year fireworks. Now call me old-fashioned, but I remember when fireworks meant Bonfire Night. Good old fashioned treacle toffee, Guy Fawkes and all that. But now, from some time in early October through to New Year, they're going off every five minutes. Sometimes at five in the morning.

Who's buying these things? Who can afford to let firecrackers off at 9.30am for a laugh? It scares the hell out of our dog, who won't cross the street after dusk.

WHO: Sophie and Lee. If true love can blossom in a situation which includes being separated by a plastic fence, starved half to death on rations, forced to live with people you can't stand and being filmed 24 hours a day, then truly anything is possible.

And it seems that these are the most likely conditions for finding your true love if Big Brother is anything to go by. First dippy Helen and nice-but-dim Paul got together (and seem to be still going strong) and now Big brother's Lee and Sophie are getting spliced!

Yes, you heard right, the pair of love birds who flirted outrageously while in the house, got together shortly after the game ended and it has evidently all gone rather swimmingly from there.

But, I ask you, how is it that Cilla sends random couples on a romantic three day trip to the Bahamas and they come back wanting to stick pins in each other's eyes, but if you lock them in a house with a load of morons love is in the air in no time? Mind you, it is a bit worrying that Lee decided to propose live on RI:SE TV - have they become addicted to the glare of cameras?

Watch out - a documentary of the wedding and a Truman-show style series tracing the life of their first born child will surely follow.

FILM: Spider-Man. Spinning a web of fascination, the action-powered film starring Tobey Maguire has broken box office records by selling seven million DVD and videotape copies in its first day of video release in the US. The record was previously held by Monsters Inc which sold five million on its first day. And it isn't even Christmas yet! The film is released in the UK on November 25 and looks set to keep flying off the shelves at super-powered speed until after the festive season. At which point we will have to start looking forward to the sequel, due out in 2004. My spider-sense tells me that'll do quite well too!

Who's Niz: CHRISTINA Aguilera. Those who have been keeping an eye on the pop world of late can't have failed to notice that Aguilera has taken a turn for the obscene.

The singer's latest single is called Dirrty, and sees her throwing off her previous pop image in favour of prancing around in red knickers, a bikini top and chaps!

Call me picky, but since when have chaps been erotic to anyone other than a certain kind of gay man? Answer: they aren't. Which is why this image change is such a shame. She tries for dirty (perhaps aiming for Britney in Slave For You) but just manages to be plain tasteless. Despite sparring with a masked female boxer, writhing against female dancers and some female bodybuilding shots, the video for Dirrty doesn't scream 'erotic'. Just desperate. Then again, I'm not a bloke so maybe I am missing the point. We shall have to see whether chaps are going to become the next fashion accessory of the season.