"COOL mists rising slowly from cascading waterfalls. Trumpeting elephants, lifelike gorillas... an entire jungle of animated wildlife, along with live tropical parrots and aquariums showcasing saltwater fish and aquatic life forms." Well, that's how the Rainforest Cafe describes itself, anyway.

It's not just a cafe, but also a shop, a bar, and almost a theme park.

Getting a table in this 340 seat place is a bit of a palaver. It means being issued with a "passport" by a be-microphoned girl on arrival, which allows you to go up to another girl with headphones and a microphone, who then hands you over to a chap (Tour Guide) - wearing you know what - who shows you your table. Phew.

After a hard day's shopping, we were more than ready to take our - bamboo - seats next to a huge aquarium, underneath a canopy of - fake - flowers, branches and vines, and have a bite.

Emma, our waitress - or "Safari Guide" in Rainforest-speak - was very attentive, effective and polite, but you can't help but think all Guides' behaviour comes heavily standardised.

From the menu, we chose the Wallaby's Wok, at £7.95 and the £7.65 Rumble in the Jungle sandwich. The sandwich consisted of soft pitta bread, filled with fresh lettuce, dressing, tomato, and is served with crispy fried onions, but we were disappointed to find out that the turkey was, in fact, cold.

The "Wok" turned out to be a plateful of linguine pasta, topped with sweet-tasting sun-dried tomatoes, toasted pine nuts, chicken and basil. Additional cheese added 75p to the cost of this dish, but it all made for a tasty meal.

Other choices on the menu include salads, at around the £7 mark and burgers for around £9.

To drink we had a coke, £1.45, and a mixed fruit juice, £2.25. There is in fact a nice selection of mouth-watering non-alcoholic drinks, which include "smoothies" - fruit and yoghurt drinks - for £2.95, and fruit juice cocktails, at £2.25.

To round off the meal, it was a delicious Apple Crisp for me, a concoction of apple, ice cream, caramel and cinnamon, and for my boyfriend Tempting Toffeeanna, toffee mousse, banana ice cream, chocolate fudge and caramel on a biscuit base, both priced £2.95, as well as two coffees, at £1.35.

None of this food was cheap, but the quality was good and it was nicely presented. There are enough choices for vegetarians and children (who have their own Rainforest Rascals menu), but the real point of the Rainforest Cafe isn't so much the food as the entertainment on offer.

Every few minutes, for example, all hell breaks lose when the sound of thunder and lightning comes crashing through the loudspeakers.

Then there are the apes in one corner, and the elephants in the other, which "come alive" every so often. To us, these performances were quite entertaining the first time round. To small kids, they'd be hugely entertaining forever, I guess.

Add to this the real-life parrots at the entrance, the arched aquarium you walk under, the waterfalls, and you find yourself in a place which would probably greatly appeal to your children/and or the child in you. Yes, it really is a - simulated - jungle out there. Irma Heger

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.