THERE’S a very early episode of The Simpsons where the eponymous characters go in search of family bliss under the watchful eye of ham psychologist Dr Marvin Monroe.

Asked to sketch their worst fears, everyone but Homer draws Homer, after which the whole thing descends into petty squabbling and fighting, and the shrink turns to shock treatment to help sort out their differences.

Of course, this also fails miserably and the whole town loses power.

The only reason I bring it up is that Fabio Capello called his own crisis meeting yesterday evening with England’s stuttering footballers, so if blackouts were reported overnight in the vicinity of Rustenburg, we know things didn’t run smoothly.

It’s a risky business indeed to call all those Premier League egos, I mean teammates, into one room and have an ‘honest and open chat’ just a couple of days before the most important game in recent memory.

Only if Capello entered that room willing to rethink his own tactical thinking and selection policy would it even stand a chance of working – and the Italian doesn’t immediately strike me as one who is open to such reasoning.

Likewise, there is a mile-long list of potential problems as England’s stars began sketching the bad guy, or pin-pointing the problems they encountered against the US and Algeria.

Former Wanderers striker Nicolas Anelka was sent packing by Raymond ‘Inspector Clouseau’ Domenech for voicing his opinion in the disintegrating French camp, and the cynics might hope the same happens with a few of the under-performers after last night’s shenanigans.

Sir Bobby Robson found a way to change things round in 1986 and 1990, and if from all the fussing and fighting Capello can pick an 11 to beat Slovenia then he can start with a clean slate in the knockout rounds.

John Terry is one of the biggest voices in the dressing room, so every word he uttered at yesterday’s press conference was saturated with hidden context.

Aside from Wayne Rooney’s ill-judged rant to a pitchside camera, England’s dirty laundry has remained un-aired to this moment. I hope that remains the case, and that Capello never saw fit to bring out the shock therapy in the end.