RETIRED midfielder Fabrice Muamba says he feels helpless not being able to aid the Wanderers cause at present.
The 24-year-old, who was forced to hang up his boots in the summer, refuses to watch the Whites struggle from the stands at present, admitting it makes him angry not being available to do his bit.
Muamba says his dream of playing football ended too soon but accepts his health must come first after his heart stopped beating for 78 minutes on the pitch at Tottenham in March.
But that doesn’t ease the frustration if he watches a game live – especially with the Whites searching for form and languishing in the lower reaches of the Championship table after just three wins in their opening 10 league outings.
Muamba said: “I have to accept the fact I cannot play and be grateful for my life.
“It could have been a lot worse.
“But I cannot watch because I get very angry.
“It’s disappointing, to be honest, to see the guys, and the way we’ve been playing is not up to the standard.
“There’s a lot of good players in the team with a lot of Premier League experience and they’ve not been playing to the standard we wanted to play and the level we showed in previous matches.
“It’s hard to watch them. That’s why I hardly come to watch them.
“One day I said to myself, ‘If I want to be there.’ I question myself sometimes, saying, ‘If, when, how, this, that.’ “But I have to respect the fact the guys in the team are good enough to push us up the league and hopefully they can do a good job.”
Muamba believes the return of his former midfield partner Stuart Holden will be a massive boost when he finally gets near to first-team action again.
But he knows others have to chip in as well and help Holden.
He went on: “Stuart is a big player at the club and I’m sure when he comes in, he’ll be ready to come into the team and give them something they’re missing.
“He adds something and pushes them forward.
“But we need everyone to stand up and be counted, not just Stuart.”
Muamba is as intrugued as every Whites fan about who will take up the managerial reins next after Owen Coyle’s exit last week.
But he remains adamant about staying away from games to avoid any build-up of anger and frustration.
He added: “I find it hard to watch football at all sometimes. I watch the highlights sometimes but not live games.
“To me I think this dream has been cut short too soon. I have to respect the fact my health is more important.
“But it is hard to accept I cannot play again when I watch on at games.”
The former England under-21s player is still to make a full recovery from his cardiac arrest and while he is feeling good physically, there are still memory lapses.
He knows it will take time and knows that he has to put his footballing frustrations to one side for the sake of his health and personal life.
He said: “I am allowed to exercise but I cannot do heavy stuff like running. I do a lot of swimming; I haven’t done any running for a long time.
The last time I actually did any exercise was a kickabout in Dubai.
“I am still the same weight as I was when I was playing.
“The biggest challenge is with my memory because I was out for so long, I lost a lot of my memory.
“I have been told it will take me a year for my memory to get back to normality.
“My wife has to write things down for me or else I forget. My long term memory is fine but it's my short term memory that's the problem.
“I try to keep myself busy, otherwise I will have another cardiac arrest!”