DO you know what football needs Michel Platini? More officials behind the goal...

John Lennon reckoned it was instant – but it seems England have had to wait a couple of years for a bit of karma to come their way.

Artem Milevskiy’s effort was a good six inches over the line but I wonder whether there will be the same widespread indignation in the papers this morning? Will there heck as like.

This one went FOR us. And according to ITV’s technical boys, he was offside anyway so let’s not talk any more about it. We’ll file it somewhere under “not to be discussed” with Geoff Hurst’s goal in the World Cup Final.

It’s safe to say that England’s performance last night won’t have scared anyone left in the competition, let alone the ultra-defensive Italians who we’ll meet on Sunday night. That game seems to have the potential to be the footballing equivalent of Kalms.

England’s 4-4-2 formation, with barely recognisable wingers, was described to me as “The Tortoise” before the game. And sure enough, they took their time coming out of their shell.

In fact, Roy Hodgson’s approach looked positively prehistoric against the more fluid, creative Ukranian approach. But for a Wayne Rooney header that should have been nestling in the back of the net, there was absolutely nothing to say about the first half.

It comes to something when the highlight for me was a tweet from Chris Casper – a bloke I came to know quite well when I used to cover Bury – which revealed that Danny Wellbeck’s dad, Stan, is a bomb disposal expert. Had things not livened up, I may have had to expand on that. Thankfully for you, the reader, I’ll leave it there.

Rooney made amends for his atrocious earlier effort with a chance that even his dodgy quiff couldn’t spoil, taking the heat off his barber who had come in for quite some stick during the half time break. And then news of Sweden’s glorious performance against the French took the pressure off completely.

It leaves England with an Italian job this weekend, and for both teams it looks like a safe cracking test. But all of a sudden, England look like having the tools to accomplish it.

Crikey... I just had a vision of Germany in the semis and Spain in the final. Must be working too hard.